Breaking: Government Considers Banning All Hand Signals Following Elon Musk’s “Alleged” Nazi Salute Washington, D.C. – In what experts are calling the most radical cultural shift since the invention of jazz hands,…
Month: January 2025
BIDEN NOW SPONSORED BY DEPEND
Breaking: President Biden Signs Full-Flush Sponsorship Deal with Depend Adult Diapers Washington, D.C. – In a groundbreaking move that’s making waves in both politics and plumbing, President Joe Biden has inked an…
JOE BIDEN’S FREEDOM AWARDS
Joe Biden’s Freedom Awards January 4, 2025 | New York City President Joe Biden took the time out to sniff the hair… oops, I mean award the Presidential Medal of Freedom—the nation’s…
FEDERAL RESERVE FACES PONZI SCHEME CHARGES
In a move that left economists scratching their heads and late-night comedians rubbing their hands with glee, the Federal Reserve faces Ponzi scheme charges launched by local conspiracy enthusiast and part-time kombucha…
PORN HUB SHUT DOWN SPARKS FEAR OF VIOLENCE IN FLORIDA
The Sunshine State is on edge this week following the sudden shutdown of Pornhub, one of the world’s largest adult entertainment platforms. The closure, which occurred after a sweeping federal crackdown on…